I almost quit blogging.
The constant guilt for not posting on time, strong opinionated drama and conflict regarding deep morals, blog design comparison, and the plain inability to focus due to
naughty healthy-functioning children grew to be too much. I took a summer break, posting only a few giveaways and product reviews, to keep up some sort of writing flow.
But I am hoping it’s time to start back at it again! Not full speed quite yet, since summer is still amidst, but at a nice slow and steady pace. Once my FIVE year old daughter starts KINDERGARTEN… (dear lord)… I should be able to establish a solid routine.
First, I need to tell you my green living, vegetarian and crunchy mama flaws to assure you I am not perfect… (not that anyone thought I was to begin with.)
- I entirely stopped cloth diapering but still support and promote it 100%. It just happened and there’s no excuse other than laziness.
- I’ve been throwing away peanut butter jars because I get annoyed at taking the extra minute it takes to completely clean the remaining peanut butter out of the jar before tossing it in the recycling bin. I gotta stop that.
- My natural deodorant stopped working after a year, so I’ve been buying the aluminum (cancer-causing?) variety.
- I am using chemical-packed, animal-tested shampoo, conditioner and body wash made in China. It makes me mad that I cannot simply go to the store to buy quality products on a whim. I have some natural, cruelty-free products like Era Organics, but I am babying them to make them last longer… It’s hard researching before every shopping trip to make sure you’re not buying “horrible” products. I do the best that I can.
- I continue to eat MorningStar Farms products even though I know that their soy is genetically modified. I hate that. I emailed them my complaint, but still buy it.
- I have guiltily consumed refried beans made with lard, alcohol-soaked gummy bears containing gelatin and thai food with fish sauce. I do my best to avoid them, but when I’m at a bachelorette party or out to eat on vacation, I sometimes make exceptions on my vegetarianism. However, I’m pretty sure I’ll opt for the black beans at Mexican restaurants from now on… They tend to be listed on the vegetarian menu.
- I gave away my three aggressive roosters to a man who probably killed and ate them. It pains me to think about what I did. Just writing that sentence makes my stomach sick. That’s all I can write about that other than those roosters constantly attacked my children and hens. I know there are non-aggressive roosters, so I am hoping my new one will stay nice. We hold him often to help with that… :/
- I suck at creating recipes all the time and will begin reviewing other vegetarian blogger recipes soon.
It’s hard going against the grain.
I have gotten so caught up on being perfect and sticking to my blog-written word, that I couldn’t handle the pressure. The truth is that I typically try my hardest at practicing what I preach, but I am not perfect. We are not perfect. Nobody is and that’s just how it goes.
I stepped away from blogging to glance at the real world around me.
I told a family member about my strong desire to recycle even though I find it to be a pain in the butt. I even attempted explaining how our world could be entirely filled with garbage for the future generations, i.e., my grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren. Their response, “Well, in the future, they will figure out a way to solve the problem.” (What a nice, progressive thought.)
If I told someone at work or a family gathering that I ate a gummy worm and felt guilt, they’d be confused. “What? You’re skinny, you can afford to eat ten bags of gummy worms.”
But in reality, I am thinking how my gummy worm was once alive before being murdered unnecessarily… The cow or pig’s skin, tendons, ligaments and bones were boiled with water to produce this so-called amazing product that helps hold corn syrup, sugar, citric acid and lactic acid together. Yay.
See how much thought I put into everything? I need to stop that before I give myself an aneurysm.
The goal of blogging is to promote awareness and trigger research, not solve the problem myself.
I am pretty DAMN aware of the products I purchase and how it affects our health, animals and planet. I have spent many hours researching large corporate evils like Monsanto and Proctor & Gamble, who literally work for Satan himself.
But it’s not easy to avoid their products and I know it. I personally cannot.
I don’t blame anyone for buying their Pantene hair care, Crest toothpaste, Tide detergent… or feeding their small cattle farm GMO-corn. We all do our best as we learn new information. Even the people who buy natural products that are seemingly good for the environment and our health probably buy them through a brand owned by the same corporate evil producing the “horrid” products. It’s still a good step regardless… supply and demand… Yet, we all know that it’s hard to win in a rigged world.
And besides, how can everyone spend so much time focusing on these corruptions when there’s even larger issues at stake like hate crimes that kill for political, religious or discriminatory statements. God forbid, I start discussing the current presidential election candidates.
The point of my rants and confusion on how our society ended up here is to promote awareness. Period.
I am ready to keep writing.
Knowing and realizing all stated words above, I can peacefully continue my blog journey doing the best I can. I’ll continue writing about motherhood, vegetarianism, environmental concerns, and anything else that pops in my head. If any distant internet haters don’t like my occasional hypocritical moments, that’s okay. If people don’t like what I write, that’s okay.
The best part about writing opinions instead of speaking them is that anyone can simply exit the computer screen (or toss the newspaper in the fire).
No big deal.